Doc Coleman was more than correct in his followup post.  People will have nearly a year to get an iPhone 4 in their hands.  That, however was not the goal for many.  The goal was to have it in one’s hand on June 24th without having to camp outside a store and wait on lines rivaling those of Nov 4, 2008.  People also recall that when the 3G model reached stores they were sold out by the 2nd week of July and the backlog was so great estimates of four weeks before resupply were made.

I reference the 3G model because that was two years ago and AT&T requires that same span as part of their contract agreement.  My guess was that the first three months saw a million or so units sold.  AT&T is allowing upgrades ahead of schedule just for the iPhone 4.  Put those two factors together, sprinkle in a sizable number of smartphone users and potential buyers who are also at the end of their current contract and have been waiting for the iPhone to mature and you have the perfect iStorm.  If nothing else these three factors add up to a number greater than the 600,000 units available pre-order.

As for me, I did not even try ordering.  I made a deal with my wife that she’d get the iPhone 4 and I’d get an iPad.  I did remind her that pre-ordering had started but by that time it was all over the news that the program had been pulled.

For the record, my iPad is magical.  So much so I resist the urge to whisper abracadabra when I flip open my Apple iPad case.  If you listen closely you may catch me in a moment of weakness.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s high time I signed up as an iWhatever developer, slap together some bad code, sell it for $1.99 and watch the Washingtons roll into my bank account.  Dollar bills ya’ll.

*No such playbook exists.

My first attempt at sharing some work online really opened my eyes and ears to the challenges of what I had assumed a simple task – write a story that’s no more than 100 words.  All I used was Audacity (yes, because I couldn’t get a good enough recording in one take) and my laptop’s built in microphone.  If you’re not willing to follow the link to the original post I’ll just say it was much harder than expected.  Though, according to votes my ultra short story easily grabbed the most votes.  Yes, I told folks on Facebook and Twitter to go vote but I also asked they vote for their favorite story.  I honestly wonder if anyone other than my brother even read the stories entered and instead just submitted a vote for me because they liked me and I did ask them to vote.  Why do I say this?  Well it ties back to the whole #podcrit discussion.  I didn’t get a single bit of feedback on my story.  Not a word.

So how was it?  Was it good as a read but painful to listen?  Did you envision why the character placed themselves in that situation to begin with?  What I find real neat about the good stories at 100 Word Stories is how my mind automatically tries to fill in and add what’s been written.

Well, I’ve sent in my second entry.  Yes, I’ve been campaigning again.  Like before it’s not so I can get the most votes, though it would be cool to brag about being 2-0 that’s not the point.  I’m campaigning to get people reading these stories, thinking about them, and perhaps even sending a few of their own in from time to time.  Most of all comments/critiques would be super awesome with amazing sauce on the side!  As only my second submission ever I noticed some things that were different about the process.  First, much less takes.  I’m talking less than ten and no need to use Audacity to splice anything because it was all in the same take!!  This I am truly amazed about.  Second, I moved away from the laptop’s built in microphone and pulled out my Olympus Digital Voice Recorder WS-500M.  Lastly (not really but I don’t want to bore you), both times I thought the sound quality was fine when I listened on my PC and yet both sounded real bad as part of the podcast.  I’ve yet no idea why but hope to figure it out in time.

This Olympus picked up a lot more background noise than my laptop mic while in the same room so I had to find a quiet spot in the house.  The house had to be empty of other too.  Oh, and I learned that though I sing great in the bathroom it’s horrible as a recording studio.

Comments welcome, but you already know that.  Look for future posts on my adventures in learning this craft.  It is a craft and the folks putting out works are truly artists.

AAADD

(Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)

This is how Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, an d I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the worktop, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I put the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall l trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

• the car isn’t washed
• the bills aren’t paid
• there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop
• the flowers don’t have enough water
• there is still only one cheque in my cheque book
• I can’t find the remote
• I can’t find my glasses
• I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.  I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

Have a Great Wednesday!!

We’ve all seen org charts. Depending on the time of year you may see several revisions of the same chart as people are hired, fired, or retired. Through all these changes one sentiment seems constant. Once again, you can thank my dad for this gem.

I think this may just about cover it all.

Where do you tend to find yourself on this chart?

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:

When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn’t know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY:

This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for
other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:

This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:

When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:

The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the
amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid
being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:

Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the
bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:

This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK ( P.F.N):

A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off
without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:

A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom

TURD BURGLAR:

This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:

A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:

An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall This will all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire,leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:

A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:

A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:

An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

I love the expression on his face in this one.

Anyway, I’ll be one of the million that come next month will have a huge void to fill after the series finale of Lost. Once I’m through with the healing process I’ll give Castle a good look. When I do should I start from the beginning or can I just take it up from the current episode?